donate the car for scrap.. you have fluids combining in the block that are making it to the combustion chamber. Something inside the engine is seriously wrong. I'm willing to bet you're not running on all cylinders (the car, not you).
If the car is in great shape, could last a while longer, and you can afford the $1200-1500 for a rebuilt engine, plus install, do that instead. Helps to know what kind of car we're talking about here.
It sounds like major engine trouble, cracked block or cylinder head. You don't get a fake oil level from a dipstick, what is happening is other fluid, coolant is entering the oil pan, check the radiator, if there is oil present, then you have a major overhaul or new engine as the only solution, if it is an old car, not worth that repair, unless it's a classic anyway.
Who can afford to run a car at 1.3mpg these days? My 460hp 11ltr truck pulling 44tonnes used to return 9mpg.
Your engine sounds history.
blue smoke = burning oil
white smoke = burning antifreeze
black smoke = burning way too much fuel
chances are that the misfire (shaking and stalling) is due to the oil burning and it will eventually take out O2 sensors and cat. and can plug muffler and resonator if it has one ( chances of muffler and resonator plugging small but can happen)
How does a dip stick show a fake level? I think you had better do a compression test, I'd say you have a broken piston.
